The gender-segregated sitting arrangement in my church and reflections on Institutional Culture.
You know that cool feeling of sharing a hymn book with a pretty girl in church — the one that graduates every once in a while to members of the same church getting married to each other? Well, you will never have that feeling in my church! In fact, If you were to walk into my church on any given Sunday, you might be tempted to think it is under sharia rule — the men sit on one side (the right) and the woman sits on the other. Growing up, I have learnt that this is common practice with Evangelicals. But as the world evolved and plastic seats gradually replaced wooden benches, church rows have become more heterogeneous. Even the COCIN next to my house has evolved, but for some reason, my church has become the global HQ of gender-segregated seating arrangements.
Before I move on, two things: One, this article is not just about my church. Two, there are a lot of great things about my church and it has been a place for spiritual growth especially in recent times I picked the sitting arrangement example because it helps to drive the point home.
My church is not more sexist than the average evangelical, far from it. In fact, while my church is far from the ‘feminist ideal’ — not that I am saying that is what any church should be — there is more frontline women participation than most evangelicals and even some Pentecostals, but why does our sitting arrangement look like it came from the 1900s? Why is okay for me to give my ‘sister-in-the-lord” a side hug just outside but not be able to sit next to her? Why would husband and wife come to church together and sit on different sides? Why had this trend remained unchanged since I became a member of the church about twenty years ago even when we have had at least two youth-centric, modern pastors. I mean, our current pastor prepares and delivers his sermons from his laptop (pretty progressive, yeah?) My questions and thoughts kept leading me to one word. CULTURE!
But is it possible for a church to have a Culture?
Pop Culture, Tarok culture, the culture of the Jarawa people, but the question is “can a church have a culture”? Well, YES! Yes, All groups, big or small have a culture — a set of [silent] rules and ideas that affect social behaviour at least within the group, but most times even outside it. I have studied the patterns long enough to know culture is not restricted to geographical and ethnic groups, and that it affects even the smallest things — like how often members in a clique of friends check up on each other.
I am more interested in the bigger groups (institutions like schools and churches) because the scale helps to show the extent to which culture can have an effect. Take a few examples: When I was schooling in Plapoly, studying within school premises at night was only for exam period and the few people who studied were stigmatized for being “over-serious” but when I came to Bauchi, going to school in the night to study seemed a cool thing to do. Off the back of my head I can think of many more examples:
- Why are the bulk of peer-reviewed journal articles coming out of Nigeria co-authored by students and teachers of Covenant University? No, I don’t think it is because they have the biggest cluster of academic brains in the country.
- Why do Abuja hostel girls have the reputation of being a little more carefree about hygiene? Why are Zion Hostel girls thought to be ‘Ajebo’ and village hostel girls thought to be ‘Agberos’? I have never even schooled in UJ but I have heard the myths.
- Why is GOSA such a cult-like organization?
Culture is hard to get rid of once it locks in.
The interesting thing about these facts (or as Abuja Hosten and Village hostel girls will say Stereotypes) is that the patterns have remained like that for decades. It almost like “Soldier go, Soldier Come”. Same thing for my church and the sitting arrangement. It seems like all it took was for the pioneers to create a culture and all the people after just had to follow. This brings me to my next point. Leadership!
Leadership is key.
An important conversation to have when talking about institutional culture is the role of leaders in breaking or making cultural practices. Again, permit me to use a few examples:
Since I work remotely, every once a week, I join a virtual meeting with my boss to review the plan for the week and plan for the next one. One time, my boss joined the 11:30am meeting by 11:31. Immediately he joined the call, his first words were “I’m so sorry Emmanuel” and went to explain why he was one minute late. Ha!
I enjoyed the thirty seconds of feeling like the Oga, but that is how a real leader creates a culture of taking time seriously! We just had an intern join to work directly with me and I know I will now have to be the leader who is right on time and apologises when he isn’t. It is only a matter of time before we create a culture that will outlive our stay in the organization.
Let’s go back to 2011-ish when Jonah Jang was the governor of Plateau State. If I had a dollar for every time I found trash in my pocket while doing my laundry, I’d probably have enough to buy myself a decent mobile phone. During the Baba Jang era, I would NEVER drop trash on the street. Whether it was an empty sachet of water or a sweet wrapper, I would hold on to it or keep it in my pocket till I got home. And being the scatterbrain that I am, more often than not, I would forget to take it out till it was laundry day. Ensuring that the streets were always clean and placing trash bins every kilometre or so not only enforced a culture of cleanliness but also inspired it.
The people also need to be involved.
Last sunday, about thirty seconds before the Zumuntan Mata performance ended, I had a mini panic attack. My heart was beating hard and fast, I was hyperventilating, my hands were shaking lightly. It was the mixture of the excitement of the lyrics and watching their choreography, and the fear that If I clapped afterwards, I would be the only one. I know you think I was overreacting, but you see, apart from the sitting arrangement, my church has this culture of being generally laid back and not appreciating choristers after a performance. If dem try, they would do that annoying silent wave. Even the popular “mai za muce ma matan mu… mun gooooode!” culture is now dead! So you see why one would be so conscious about an action as simple as being the first one to clap.
I had decided from the previous Sunday — after my friend who was visiting told me my church was too laid back and I agreed — that I was going to be the first one to clap whenever I was blessed by anything. As soon as the Zumuntan Mata made their usual dramatic stop, I started clapping. Luckily enough other people joined almost immediately. It wasn’t the thunderous applause I felt the performance deserved, but it was a victory nonetheless!
The point here is the people need to be involved. While the leaders play a vital role in changing or creating cultural practices, the ultimate power to sustain it remains with the people.
Final words…
Whether you are a leader or follower (most times we are one in a group and the other in another group), we should remind ourselves of the need to be active contributors to the culture of groups we find ourselves in.
As a leader, you must understand that your actions have far-reaching consequences, and that beyond concrete visible achievements, your greatest and longest-lasting legacy will come from your contribution to the culture of the group you lead. You MUST not only enforce positive action but also inspire it and put structures in place to encourage it.
As a follower, you must understand that you too can be the match that starts the flame. While complaining and seeking change, you could be one less passive actor contributing… and you don’t have to be dramatic about it. It could be an act of subtle rebellion, like sitting on the wrong side every Sunday, obeying traffic rules or being the one who claps first.